To build equal relations with the narcissistic personality is a task from the category “mission impossible”.
But when a daffodil appears in your life, it’s hard to believe in it. At first he is charming, lets dust in his eyes and imperceptibly starts his manipulations. Narcissus professionally captures the life of her next victim, while she is in love and sees only the dignity of her chosen one.
The psychologist Lesya Matveeva offers you 8 reasons “against”, which will destroy him, at first glance, an ideal image.
- It is focused on its “facade”. A sense of shame is predominant in a narcissist. Narcissus is constantly afraid to seem ridiculous / ugly / clumsy. For him to show his imperfection is equivalent to how it was Cersei Lanister naked pass before the screaming crowd. Therefore, if you accidentally make him feel “not like that,” he will necessarily pass through your weak points.
- He is envious. Envy makes narcissus constantly compare himself with others. From this, his self-esteem suffers and requires constant recharge. For this, the narcissistic personality uses the depreciation mechanism. Who will he discount? Correctly! His favorite girl, hinting that she is not good enough / successful / talented.
- He is focused on himself. The man-narcissus notices only his own person. His way of interacting with others is competition. Only in this case narcissus draws attention to someone besides himself and then only in order to prove its superiority.
- He is greedy. Narcissus is characterized by greed in the sense that it needs constant attention to be remembered and spoken about. It also manifests itself in the search for new heights: the change of partners (on more attractive / rich / young), the desire to try as much as possible (food, alcohol, impressions). Even if he feels good, he feels a strange feeling of dissatisfaction “something is missing.” This greed is caused by a non-saturated internal void. Do you remember, as in the film “Trace 60”: Neil met a girl who wanted to seduce him, because she wanted to try – is not he her ideal man? She could not stop for fear that someone else would be better. Agree, somehow do not want to be just a step on the road to the woman of his dreams?
- He plays in advance. Maybe for a business strategy this is a good quality, but not for a relationship so accurate. Daffodils like to share their knowledge from an authoritative position, to be a teacher, so that others want to become like them. Thus, the narcissistic personality depreciates his followers, for example, by telling “as it should”. You will not notice how the narcissus man will attribute to himself all the good things in your life (“Thanks to me, you’ve reached such heights”, “Thanks to me, you’ve become better dressed”, “With me, you even began to get out into people”). He will do everything for you to make coffee for his super recipe, read the same books as he did, listen to his music. He does this not just for you to strive to become like him. Narcissus, like air, must evoke in others a sense of admiration, envy, and even his own nothingness in comparison with him.
- You will not please him. Narcissus is hard to rejoice in ordinary things, to see the beauty around him. To feel satisfied, he comes up with many conditions. It is unlikely that he will appreciate breakfast from toast or a postcard of hand-made.
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7. He does not appreciate others. Immediately warn, do not expect that you will be an exception! On many of his relatives / colleagues / friends, the narcissus looks down on him, considering them not too smart / stylish / beautiful and then on the list, depending on what he values most. Therefore, unexpectedly for yourself (for example, after six months of a relationship), you can find out what is not stylish enough or that it’s time for you to lose 5 kg.
8. He is an experienced liar. Narcissus deceives with incredible ease, talking about her feelings for others. He will make believe that he loves his relatives / friends / partners without a twinge of conscience using deceit. Such men are real chameleons, adapting to the situation. So, if your new boyfriend says what you want to hear and read your thoughts – this is not always a good sign.
The man-narcissus, in principle, is not capable of love. This feeling is inaccessible to him, no matter how he would not let the dust into his eyes. Next to him you will never feel good and safe, but it is an indicator of healthy and harmonious relationships. If you do not want to become a victim of selfish plans for narcissus, and then restore mental strength, going to India for six months, better re-read this list! Do you have the same “for” relationship with a daffodil man?